Often times in my human nature, I have found myself in deep thought questioning why God would be so kind and so loving. These are the times I have found myself in a state of either judging someone because of something negative or outrageous they have done or just trying to understand why some things happen especially around painful occurrences and the culprits walking free. I realize and acknowledge that God is not man. Unlike me who has to deal with unforgiveness, bitterness and anger, God deals with things in a very different way. It’s nothing I can understand or explain, but it’s something I see every day in my faith walk.
This past week, a neighbour made me so angry that I could not understand how else to deal with them. I needed some peaceful time but they must have been on the other end of the line probably high on something and unaware of the mess they were causing. We had a back and forth for a while and lots of apologies from their side but the issue kept recurring and at one point, I found myself thinking that this person was just out to irritate me and test my limits. I realised that in all that anger and bitterness, my blood pressure was probably rising and the issue was sort of beyond me. I said a small prayer that was along the lines of God, remove my anger and bitterness and be my avenger. That very short prayer or thought made me feel like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. A back and forth that had been on phone for almost 3 hours suddenly came to a quiet standstill and a very present peace seemed to reign over and take over the situation. I was able to go to bed like nothing had happened. I remember telling my sister the story of what had happened and how that one realisation that God should avenge for all our battles had brought me peace.
A few days later, I found myself in yet another battle, an entitled person that felt that only their services mattered also crossed my path with multiple lies and excuses. I knew this was a person I was not going to give any work as he was keen to mess up my projects if he was not assigned the tasks. Again, after so much inner battling, I am realising that this whole time, I have been mentally fighting back, instead of letting God avenge especially the lies he keeps telling.
As a believer of God, one of the lessons I have had in the month of January is that no secret is hidden from God, and at the right time, He reveals everything to us. There are people God will bring your way to test your dependance on Him. Sometimes very irritating human beings like the two I have had to deal with in the past week. God has kept reminding me that they are His children and a parent can deal with every battle their children brings their way, He too will deal with this. I am therefore at peace knowing that as a human being, it is not in my place to judge the motives, but it is in my place to surrender every situation to God. He is a kind and loving God and He will fight battles that happen even in dark places where we cannot see the real enemy. We just need to believe and surrender.
As January 2022 comes to a close today, may our eyes be open to see beyond the anger and pain inflicted to us by others, see beyond the lies told to hurt us and instead, see the kindness and love God has shown us, when it’s us on the other side of the situation. Don’t judge, don’t hold anger and bitterness, instead, release it all to God and let your life be free, released to the kindness that only God can give, because He loves you in a moment, more than anyone could in a lifetime.
God bless you.