Many mental health issues in this day and age and especially for those over 30 years has some contributions from a relationship somewhere. Whether its wounded parenting and childhood traumas, bosses, spouses or significant others. Whatever the case is, In life, we all seek meaningful connections and relationships with others. We want to be surrounded by people who value and prioritise us. However, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we are giving our all to someone who treats us as an afterthought – merely an option in their life. This one-sided dynamic can be harmful and detrimental to our self-worth and well-being. Today, we will explore why it’s important to never allow someone to be your priority while you are their option. Until that realisation comes, you may keep drowning time and again..In Kenya, we call it “kujiita kamkutano” (calling yourself to a self actualisation meeting)
Your self-worth matters: You are valuable and deserving of love, care, and respect. It is crucial to recognise your self-worth and not settle for being someone’s option. When you prioritise someone who treats you as an afterthought, you are sending a message to yourself that your needs and feelings are not important. This can lead to a negative impact on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you as their priority, not an option.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect: A healthy relationship is one where both parties prioritise and respect each other’s feelings, needs, and boundaries. It’s important to set healthy boundaries and not allow someone to take advantage of your time, energy, and emotions if they are not reciprocating the same level of effort. If you find yourself constantly being put on the back burner and being treated as an option, it’s a sign that the other person is not valuing you as their priority. It’s important to have open and honest communication in any relationship and address any imbalances that may arise.
It’s not fair to you: It’s not fair to constantly give your all to someone who only considers you as an option. Relationships should be based on mutual love, respect, and investment. When you make someone a priority in your life while you are merely an option in theirs, it creates an unhealthy and unfair dynamic. You deserve to be with someone who is willing to invest in you and make you a priority in their life, just as you do for them.
You deserve better: Settling for being someone’s option is not a reflection of your worth or value. It’s important to recognise that you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, cherishes you, and makes you a priority in their life. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. It’s better to be alone than to be in a one-sided relationship where you are constantly overlooked or undervalued.
Finally, it is important to never allow someone to be your priority while you are their option. Your self-worth, healthy relationships, fairness, and the fact that you deserve better are all valid reasons to prioritise yourself and not settle for being someone’s option. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who values and appreciates you as their priority, just as you do for them. Don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries and prioritise your own well-being in any relationship. You are worthy of a healthy, loving, and mutually respectful relationship.
And if you are stuck in a relationship or unforgiveness that you want out and your will power is not doing you any good, please get a good therapist or counsellor to assist you. God Bless You!